Knowing your partner is being unfaithful can be a devastating, but for most people knowing is better than not knowing. With the modern world providing advances in technology and more opportunity than ever, how can you know if your loved one is trustworthy?
Asking a Private Investigator to help you is usually the most effective method, this can alleviate doubt, and guide you through the many pitfalls of finding out alone.
As Private Investigators this is one of the many services we offer and is one of the most frequently asked questions, when people call us for help and advice. Insight Investigations offers a wide range of services on relationship investigations to help people get to the truth. Getting in touch with us will be a definite solution to this problem as we shall provide you with definite proof and advice on steps to take for solution.
20 Signs your female partner is being unfaithful
Her phone is locked
You’ve previously had access to her phone or at least you’ve known the code for opening it. Most couples know this about their partner as a lot of the codes are simple and often reused across other devices.
Suddenly you find her password has changed on phone and access to other things that you previously could see has also been restricted. It could be just that she is security conscious and following best practice guidelines for changing passwords on a regular basis. Or not.
There’s a change in predictable behaviour.
When couples are in a relationship they develop routines which even if not immediately obvious to the rest of us, are there nonetheless. As a partner you know these routines and if there’s a sudden change or even a more subtle change over the course of a couple of weeks, this could be a sign.
Their Phone bill shows more calls and messages to a certain number
Mobile phone bills can be a great source of information; if you can get to them. These days most of them are hidden online with password protection.
If you can see them then a quick sign is an increase in the monthly cost. If people pay more than the standard tariff each month it is often because more pictures are being sent. A new relationship is often a time when this sort of thing happens.
Change in weight or appearance and going to the gym more
Women commit infidelity in very different ways. Men tend to simply take the opportunity when it arises whereas women as more selective. They typically look for someone ‘better’ than their partner, or as it has been described, “Women are more likely to cheat up, while men are more likely to cheat around.”
This explains why a woman who is having an affair will often take more interest in her physical appearance and perhaps try to lose weight, change the way they look with fillers or other enhancements and even change the way they dress.
With a massive 75% of women saying that they have been unfaithful because they were having problems in their relationships, a change in appearance when coupled with other signs could be a key indicator.
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Change in musical tastes
We all tend to like the music we like and this doesn’t change very often. Sure, there are new bands that come and go and our musical tastes can vary but if you are into classical music you are unlikely to start listing to AC/DC.
If you find that you’re noticing new bands or playlists, with wildly different music genres on Apple Music or Spotify, or even perhaps a CD or USB song with playlists on, this could be a real sign of infidelity.
Being vague on things, like ‘I can’t remember?’
The way men and women respond to direct questioning about suspicions can often be very different. Men tend to give excuses or reasoning whereas women will be much more vague and try to dodge the issue. Under pressure, they are more than likely to claim no knowledge of the time, place, situation or person in question.
Unless they normally suffer from a poor memory, then an inability to recall events and people might be a sign that they can actually remember, but are choosing not to share that information with you.
A pronounced need for privacy
Everyone needs a bit of privacy, but when you are in a relationship you open up and let your partner into your life. Secrets may still exist but not as many as before; after all, if this person is your ‘best friend’ then you share most things with that person.
A sudden desire for more ‘me’ time or the need to be alone is often a sign that your female partner is shutting you out of her life and this can be a sign that something deeper is going on.
A change in sexual intercourse frequency
Possibly one of the most common signs, there is a change in the frequency of intercourse.
Contrary to common belief this doesn’t necessarily mean a reduction; sometimes it can be an increase. After all, what better way to hide infidelity than by having more frequent sex? Most partners on the receiving end of this would be grateful for the opportunity and therefore be unlikely to complain. But it could simply be a way of hiding an increase in a woman’s libido because of flirting, or more, with a new partner.
You can’t see her bills
Much like male partners and their phone bills and bank statements, women are also adept at hiding changes in their financial position from their partner.
If you could see her phone bill before and bank statements but these suddenly aren’t obvious or available this could be a sign. Much like men, women having an affair will be going places, spending money and making calls that they rather their partner didn’t know about.
Talking a lot about her new “friend” at work
Many relationships start in the workplace. This is logical because in today’s modern environment you are more likely to meet and spend time with someone in the workplace than almost anywhere else.
Spending time with the person they are attracted to at work isn’t in itself a problem, however these work relationships and friendships can often turn into something more.
One sign could be that your female partner may discuss a co-worker more and how they are good at what they do, how funny they are or just generally mentioning how they make office life enjoyable.
Turning phone location on and off frequently.
Men aren’t the only ones to be tech savvy. Most millennials have grown up very adept at phone technology and can use a variety of apps and services available on any standard smartphone.
We have seen just as many men and women disable location services when they visit their lover and then re-enable it when they are back in a location. Were it not for close surveillance it would have been hard to prove where they had been.
Most people have no need or desire to frequently turn on and off the location services on their phone. If your female partner is doing so then this could be a sign.
Men and women alike can relax their behaviour when they are in a long term relationship.
At the start of a relationship, most women will make an effort to ensure that bra and knickers both match with sexy underwear sets favoured over large knickers and plain bras. Once in a relationship, this can change to just making sure that they don’t show through the clothing they are wearing.
If your female partner suddenly changes to wearing matching sets, it may well be because they expect someone else to see them wearing it.
She says your suspicions are nonsense
If you are forward enough to confront a partner with your suspicions, it is likely to go a number of ways. Statistically, women are twice as likely as men to think that their partner suspected them of being unfaithful and in almost half of the cases of infidelity their partner found out the truth.
When confronted, a woman may simply confess (as this brings the whole thing to a head), flatly deny it or quite often, tell you that you are jealous and/or crazy to think that she may be having an affair.
Ironically, in this case, a denial isn’t quite a denial. If it is turned around to accuse the man of being stupid or paranoid it can sometimes be a sign that it really is going on.
Oblivious to the fact her partner has made an effort
Men can often forget to make an effort. It sometimes seems hardwired into their DNA. Once all the thrill of the initial chase has gone it can be all too easy to drop back into a routine.
When a relationship is vulnerable, a partner may have their eyes elsewhere and despite a man’s best efforts, nothing he says or does may be good enough.
If your partner is ignoring your efforts and seems more preoccupied with her social media account or texting her friends, then this can be a sign that she’s having an affair.
Happy to show you her phone and social media accounts
It sounds counterintuitive, but a sudden willingness to show you her email accounts or social media accounts or mobile phone could be a signal.
We investigated a case where this had become the norm and the reason, it turned out, was because the partner was having an affair. What they did though was to clear their phone down on a daily basis so there was nothing untoward to find on their phone.
They came unstuck though when on holiday and their partner checked their phone at a time when normally they would be at work.
Unfaithful partner social media secret messages
They ‘like’ someone’s posts more than others
Astonishingly, according to an online survey, 54% of women have had a one-night stand and 45% of those affairs were with someone their partner knows.
Of course, it makes sense; you meet people as part of a social group, spend time with them and can become attracted to them. Quite often, therefore, an affair tends to be with someone you know or someone who is associated with the same groups of friends or work colleagues.
And as you are all friends there is no reason that you should all be linked on the same social media platforms.
If you look closely, however, you may start to spot a pattern. A woman may be subtly ‘liking’ posts from a particular person more frequently than others. This is not of course, in itself, a sign of infidelity, but it can be a signal that they like that person slightly more than you would expect.
They may post quotes online or refer to things which are out of the normal.
Erratic or unusual behaviour is often quoted as one of the classic signs that someone is having an affair.
These days that can manifest itself solely in the digital environment, with everything else seemingly unchanged.
We have seen cases where women started to post unusual quotes or out of character comments online which were, it turned out, completely at odds with her day-to-day life. To all her friends and family everything seemed normal but the nature and frequency of her posts online betrayed a mental turmoil about the relationship she found herself in and the fact that she was having an affair was causing her to seek release online.
Constantly keeping tabs on her partner.
How many times a day is it normal to keep tabs on your partner’s movements?
Most couples ‘check in’ with each other a few times a day and with so many ways to keep engaged in the digital world it’s quite easy to do this.
In one case we investigated a woman was keeping tabs on her husband up to twenty times a day. Constant texts or phone calls from her were dressed up as being friendly but the reality, as betrayed by the phone calls, was more often than not, she was looking to find out where her husband was.
The irony in this was that this behaviour was so she knew exactly where he was and therefore when it would be safe for her to meet with her lover and have the affair.
If a woman needs to keep a very close eye on you all day every day, perhaps you should ask why?
Emoticons on posts
We all use them in our posts but what does an emoticon really say about you? This post lists ten of the most used emojis by women and what they mean when she is flirting with a man.
If your partner starts to use these in her texts or even posts them on social media platforms you might want to ask her some straight questions about their meaning.
Of course, this is not an exhaustive list. It’s a list of the signs that we have seen as part of undercover private investigations we have undertaken in the past few years.
The key to all of these investigations that form part of this article is that the signs of infidelity and the reason the unfaithful partner was exposed was often down to their digital footprint.
Wherever you go and whatever you do, modern life finds a way to track your every move.